My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
