At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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