She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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