Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
