well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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