I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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