I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
