Well apparently he's into motor boating.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
