I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
