The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
