Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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