Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
