Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
