I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
