Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
