I feel like I'm in dance class right now
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
