Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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