I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize