Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
