sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
