If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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