Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
