i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
