i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
