Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
