You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize