whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
