ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
