When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
