I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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