Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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