It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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