There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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