I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
