i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Acid is not a monday night drug
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
