It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
