he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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