they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
