FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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