Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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