mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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