you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
