when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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