I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
