apparently the secret to your success is patron
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I love you.
Bad choice
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
