You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
