I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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