sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She bit a glass in half.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
