Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
