life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
