what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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