You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
