Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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