i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
