i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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