I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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