so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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