He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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