i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
